bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Randomize
