I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
