whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
