Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
