I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
