Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
