he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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