I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
