Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
