halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
