I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
