Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
