stop calling my apartment porn island.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
