Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Randomize
