There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
