She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
