You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Randomize
