My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I'm bleeding and have questions
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Randomize
