so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
