Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
