Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
