He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
