whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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