I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
