You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
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