Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
