I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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