ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
We have started to decorate penises.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
