Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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