Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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