hotel room ftw
break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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