508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
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