bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
