she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
