My brain says no but my pants say off.
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
