It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Randomize
