I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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