We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
