he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Randomize
