I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
