literally had 100 drinks last night.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
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