her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
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