I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
we should paint friendship bongs
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