idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Randomize
