her vagine was all disorganized.
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
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