i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
You took a bar mat shot.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
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