god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
