She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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