I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
