How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
This is my gift to your gina
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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